"Dress-Up Doll Born To Area Couple"
Source: The
Onion
In
2013, Manhattan married couple Ron Garver and Becky Meyers were apprehensive
with the thought of becoming parents. They worked lengthy hours and had a
well-developed social life and lived in a small and confined apartment in the
East Village. Meyers thought that the two were too irresponsible to raise a
child, but next thing you know, she was pregnant and she and her husband were
out buying all the 'significant' things in preparation for a baby. Now, the married
couple has a ten-month-old baby girl. Meyers was so relieved when her child
came out in perfect health, because it is quite certainly too difficult to find
cute outfits for premature babies. Meyers and Garver have spent about thirty
percent of their income on baby clothes. "We don't just buy anything,
though. It has to be something that's missing from her wardrobe. Last week, I
got Daddy's little girl a little Knicks jersey to wear to the games. Everyone
thinks it's adorable. She's already been on the Jumbotron!" (Dress-Up Doll
Born To Area Couple). Meyers had to adjust to the full-time job of arranging
her child for display. For awhile, Meyers and Garver did not get any sleep, as
they would wake up in the middle of the night to get their daughter out of her
sleeper and put her in breakfast PJs, and feed her. "Having a child is a
lot of work. Coming up with the idea to dress your baby like a farmer, a police
officer, or even a little sunflower is difficult enough on its own. But if
she's sleepy or fussy, it can take a half an hour to dress her. Still, when you
hear the coos of the neighbors who see her in the Baby Jogger, it's all worth
it. Every trip outside requires a hundred decisions. Should she wear her bear
coat or her cute red-velvet Santa jacket? Is today a bunny-ears kind of a day,
or does it feel like more of a plaid-wool-cap morning? Sometimes, if our social
calendar requires it, we have to pull together three or four outfits in a
single day" (Dress-Up Doll Born To Area Couple). Meyers and Garver believe
that nothing is too much for their little baby girl. Even though, she spends a
lot of time shopping for her baby girl, Meyers believes that the best possible
gift she can give to her daughter is time and attention. Once, she spent hours
on trying to figure out how to strap a telephone onto her daughter's hand, to
capture a cute and funny picture. To make her daughter look as if she was
talking, Meyers gave her little baby food to chew on.
The
significance of this article is to portray how parents view their children nowadays.
Most parents treat their children as though they were puppets or dolls. Another
way this article can be viewed is, how parents are spoiling their children
bringing about the outcome of having materialistic children. An additional way
this article can be viewed is how parents spend time artificial time with their
children.
The
article uses satirical techniques of exaggeration, incongruity, and irony to
humor the issue. It ridicules the idea of parents treating their kids like
dolls or raising their children to be materialistic or spending time with their
children inadequately.
